Day Two: Go Out with the Girls.Girls' Night Out! Now, this was an item on the list that I was super excited to complete. So much in fact, that I did it twice: once while I was still creating this challenge, and another last night. Both of them were very different, but both important to me.
Last weekend, I went to Las Vegas to visit my Semester at Sea roommate, Nikki. She pulled out all the stops to give us the traditional Girls' Night Out. Nikki picked me up at the airport with a "Hey bitch, let's do this!", drove us to this amazing hotel with view of the city, and then drank a few bottles of champagnes while wearing matching shirts displaying our...feelings...about my breakup and her (finally official) divorce. We bitched and caught up and laughed and cried until 3am when we just HAD TO FIND BURGERS, went down to the hotel's casino, made a bunch of friends and got some drinks after they heard the story behind our shirts, then fell asleep by 6am. Yeah, it's a little cliche of a Las Vegas. But there's a reason why people do this kind of night out. I had fun. I know this sounds so ridiculously obvious, but think about it. I have been in turmoil and pain for months...even before the breakup actually happened, even before the additional pain of losing a close friend. Mustering the energy to get a shower was difficult...let alone attempting to have fun or smile. Being with a close friend in an environment that encourages you to let go and have fun is oddly refreshing. It's a way to blow off steam in a semi-healthy and safe* way with people you trust. Especially after your trust in others has been absolutely wrecked. I reclaimed my individuality. I didn't have to think about anyone but me. I was in a place where my choices were mine alone, and I didn't have to worry about my partner at home or feel guilty if a guy flirted with me. This kind of night out provides a space to build up your self-esteem and create a new confidence in yourself as your own person, which is something I lost in the midst of a relationship that spanned the entirety of my adult life. I felt attractive and interesting and funny and brilliant and all kinds of other things that I have been doubting for months. The second Girls' Night Out was with a coworker friend, Erin, to a 21+ night at the Carnegie Science Center. Last night was a way less cliche night out--but was important for my building on the feelings and experiences I had in Vegas. I built on the ability to have fun...in a different way. But this was a silly, totally sober kind of fun. We played with every exhibit we could get our hands on. We attempted to become human yo-yos (super hard, btw) and climbed around a high ropes course. We got temporary tattoos and giggled a lot. This kind of fun is different than the Vegas fun because I had no "distractions" to stop me from thinking about my ex. I wasn't drinking. I was in the same city we lived in together and not on vacation. I didn't bitch about them or the situation all night. It was just me and Erin and being as ridiculous as humanly possible. This is the kind of fun that happens most often in life (because a Vegas night out every weekend would be exhausting and may just kill me). So learning how to do this again is a key point in moving forward for me. I built on this new individuality. It takes confidence to make a complete idiot of yourself in front of strangers in an attempt to become a human yo-yo. But it also takes confidence to navigate the city and spaces that you used to visit and live as a couple. It takes guts to reclaim the place you once called home with your partner. Memories of your time with them are everywhere--especially after eight years--and creating new memories and fully enjoying them with other friends or on your own take courage. The more you do so, the more your confidence will grow. As a friend recently told me, the Vegas night is like a "reset" button to be able to move on to the Science Center nights. "Girls' Night Out" may not be as profound and soul-searching as some of the other items on the list, but it really is just as important in my healing journey. Yours in Girl Power, Farrah ♥ *Please stay safe when going out and drinking! Have a plan. Don't drink and drive. Trust your gut--if it says something is wrong, leave the situation. ♥
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