Day Eleven: Do a cliche break-up move.Here we are, friends. The cliche break-up move. I've been debating for awhile which one I wanted to do: ice cream and wine in the bath tub filled with bubbles and flowers and candles everywhere? A spa day? A new piercing or two? A tattoo? New wardrobe? Start doing yoga? While I'll likely do some (if not most) of those things, I decided to go through with the most cliche post-breakup move of all time: I changed my hairrrrrrrrr! To be fair, I haven't had a haircut in three years. Any time I walk into a salon, no one wants to touch my hair because it's so curly. It's a battle to get anyone to agree to allow me to sit in their chair, and when I finally convince them, they cut one or two strands, chirping "I'm done! How pretty!" and I get frustrated and annoyed. So, I did some research, and found a stylist who is trained in DevaCurl haircuts and highlights specifically for us human beings living with lion manes. Mary at Classic Hair & Makeup on the South Side of Pittsburgh was amazing. She's funny, witty, and puts you at ease. I'm not one to panic about my hair (I've shaved it all off once before and have seriously thought about doing it again), but I did feel pretty nervous before going into the salon today. I've talked a lot about trust and commitment issues, and as silly as it may sound, I feel like this challenge allows me to test those waters again in a very small way. If you think about it, getting your hair done requires trust in this person. You have to trust them to help shape and create the new outward appearance to reflect how the new you feels on the inside. So, I decided to push myself a little bit. I basically gave Mary free-range over my new hair. I told her I'd like to keep some length and get rid of the dead ends and that I wanted color. Mary did not disappoint. Friends, I feel fierce as hell. I now understand why this has become a go-to post-breakup move. I had no idea how desperately I needed and wanted this change! I feel fantastic. I feel like I've shed some past identity and am showing the world the new, improved, independent version of Farrah. I feel more confident. How cool is that? Especially because I have been having so much difficulty with the fact that my ex left me and started dating someone else...I have continued to compare myself to her over and over again...thinking about what she has that I don't. Changing my appearance for this next phase of my life is strangely cathartic, and definitely more than I thought it would be. Plus, I mean, let's be real: the stream of compliments don't hurt either, especially at a time where my self-esteem has been less than exemplary. It's also important for me to say that, in the past in my relationship, I probably never would have done this. Not because my ex didn't want me to or I didn't have the option. But, I wasn't going to spend the money or time on myself. I wasn't a priority in my own life. Getting my hair cut and dyed and spending the extra money to go to a specialist was an act of self-care and self-love I have neglected for years...which is why something so simple feels so damn good. This post may not be as deep and profound as some of the others. But I think that's okay--and probably needed. It's all about balance. And while those deep processing experiences are unbelievably important, so are the more "surface level", fun, easy experiences. Life shouldn't always be 100% serious. Don't forget to have fun and enjoy the ride. Even when--or especially when--you're healing. Feeling fierce AF, Farrah ♥
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